I’m Bored of Doing Life Alone

It’s not that I’m bored – it’s that I’m doing it on my own

There are moments in motherhood where everything looks… fine.

The kids are happy. Relationship is good. The routine is working. You’re doing all the things you’re supposed to be doing. The weekends are our bubble of family time and it feels great. We’re our own little village and it’s wonderful.

And yet, something feels off.

Not in a dramatic, something’s wrong kind of way.

Just a quiet, persistent feeling that this isn’t quite how it’s meant to feel.

For me, it shows up most in the week. When I’m on my own with the kids, or when my partner’s away, and the days stretch out ahead of me. Everyone suggests the same things – soft play, coffee, something easy, something contained.

And I just think… is this it?

Because what I actually want is something else entirely.

I don’t want more plans – I want better ones

I don’t want a packed calendar. I want people who want to do things.

The kind of people who’d say, “should we just go to the beach today?” regardless of the weather. Who are up for a run before lunch on a Saturday, or doing something with the kids that feels like an adventure instead of something to fill time.

The kind of friendships where life feels a bit more open.

A bit more spontaneous. A bit more like you’re actually living it.

The part that’s hard to admit

Sometimes, I scroll and see people doing things. Trips, events, days out, experiences that feel fun and full.

And I catch myself thinking, I wish I did more of that.

Not because I don’t have a good life.

But because I know I want more from it than just getting through the week.

When “we get it” becomes the problem

Motherhood has made us incredibly understanding.

Someone cancels? Of course.
Someone’s tired? Completely fair.
Someone doesn’t feel up to it? Always valid.

And that kindness matters.

But if I’m being really honest, I think sometimes we give ourselves too much grace.

To the point where nothing actually happens.

Plans fall through.
Things don’t get rearranged.
And slowly, without meaning to, we stop showing up for anything outside of the absolute essentials.

And what’s hardest is that no one really talks about the disappointment.

The effort it takes to get out the door in the first place. To organise childcare, to carve out time, to feel ready to be something other than “mum” for a few hours.

When that falls apart, it doesn’t just feel like a cancelled plan.

It feels like something bigger.

The loneliness no one really names

Because this isn’t really about being alone.

It’s about doing life without people who want the same things as you.

It’s about being the one who suggests things. The one who tries to make plans happen. The one who wants something a bit more – more movement, more energy, more life.

And slowly realising that not everyone around you wants that in the same way.

Not because they’re wrong.

But because you’re no longer aligned.

The uncomfortable truth

I think part of it is environment.

And part of it is that, in motherhood, it becomes harder to convince people to do things that feel like effort – even when they’re the very things that would make us feel better.

Not everyone finds exercise fun. Not everyone wants to try new things. Not everyone is looking for more.

But that doesn’t mean you’re asking for too much. It just means you might be ready for something different.

You don’t need to shrink your life to match your environment

This is the bit I keep coming back to.

You don’t need to tone it down.
You don’t need to want less.
You don’t need to settle for what’s easy if it’s not what you actually want.

You’re allowed to want a life that feels bigger than this.

One where your social life isn’t just something you squeeze in, but something that actually adds to who you are.

Maybe it’s not you

Maybe you’re not “too much”.

Maybe you’re not too active, too busy, too into it.

Maybe you’ve just outgrown the environment you’re in.

And that’s uncomfortable.

But it’s also where things start to shift.

A final thought

Because this isn’t really about being bored.

It’s about knowing there’s more available to you – more connection, more energy, more life – and not quite having it around you yet.

And that gap?

That’s where something new begins.

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• stop waiting for your friends to want more
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